Looking ahead to Fall TV, movie sked

I’ve always been a borderline couch potato, but since back surgery on 07.10.12 to repair a spinal dural fistula (congested blood vessels and arteries), I have spent extra hours on the couch in front of the wide screen TV. And, via subscriptions, reading page after page of entertainment news in my weekly copies of TV Guide and Entertainment Weekly.

(Note to blog readers expecting an August Top Ten TV list: It will be at the end.)

First, from Entertainment Weekly’s fall movie preview, I’ve made a list of big-screen movies I want to see (sans any $6 popcorn at AMC Theaters at Concord Mills). Topping my list, of course, is "Skyfall," the next installment in the James Bond franchise, which is scheduled in theaters on 11.09.12.

Also, "Resident Evil" Retribution" on 09.14.12 (okay, so what if I love Milla Jovovich in action movies!); "Looper" (with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Bruce Willis) on 09.28.12; "Argo" (a Ben Affleck film) on 10.12.12; "Killing Them Softly" (Brad Pitt) on 10.19.12; "The Hobbit" on 12.14.12; "Zero Dark Thirty" (about Osama Bin Laden’s ultimate death) on 12.19.12; "Jack Reacher" (Tom Cruise) on 12.21.12; and "Django Unchained (a Quentin Tarentino flick with Jamie Foxx) on 12.25.12.

Second, from TV Guide’s fall sneak peak (plus an Internet search), For I have dipt into the future, far as the human eye could see (a la Alfred Lord Tennyson) and don’t like what I read about the upcoming season. Admittedly, I am a procedural drama viewer – not reality shows (are they really, really real, I ask?); not "American Idol"-type programs with ego problems; not "Dancing With the Stars"; and definitely not any show having to do with bachelors and bachelorettes.

For me, the coming fall premieres will create serious gaps in my TV watching. Looking over the schedule, I have one show from ABC ("Castle"), zero programs from NBC (unless I count "Whitney," which I’ve viewed on and off), and, maybe, one FOX show ("Bones" – again and on and off program).

Everything else is on CBS – "NCIS"; "NCIS: Los Angeles"; "CSI"; "Person of Interest"; and "CSI: New York." There are other CBS shows that I watch on occasion – "2 Broke Girls"; "Mike and Molly"; and "The Big Bang Theory." Now that "The Mentalist" has been moved from Thursday to Sunday night, the program will join "The Good Wife" as minimal viewing. As for the latter two shows, any time a NFL game runs past seven o’clock, then the scheduling becomes askew and most of the time I never know when to set my DVR. I can just overlap shows so much.

Anyway, I’m still pissed at CBS for canceling "Unforgettable" and "CSI: Miami" (which fell into the Sunday night scheduling fiasco), so I don’t intend to watch "Vegas" or "Elementary" although reading about Lucy Lui playing Dr. Watson to Jonny Lee Miller’s latter-day Sherlock Holmes is tempting.

All that said (or written), here’s my Top Ten August television shows (with comments):

  1. Perception (TNT). I really, really like this show because it tickles the inner recesses of my brain matter. Eric McCormack and Rachael Leigh Cook star.

  2. The Glades (A&E). The summer season ender absolutely floored me. Matt Passmore and Kiele Sanchez star.

  3. Rizzoli & Isles (TNT). A favorite in June, R&I started out with a rush, but took a nose-dive mid-season. Angie Harmon and Sasha Alexander star.

  4. Necessary Roughness (USA). The plot thickened and thickened and thickened – right up through the summer season ender. Callie Thorne stars.

  5. Burn Notice (USA). Always one of my favorites. The summer season ender left me – and the Good Guys – out in left field. Jeffrey Donovan, Gabrielle Anwar, Bruce Campbell, Coby Bell and Sharon Gless star.

  6. Warehouse 13 (SyFy). Season started out slowly, but picked up quickly to whet my appetite. It sort of replaces the weirdness that made "Eureka" (R.I.P.) a favorite pastime. Saul Rubinek, Allison Scagliotti, Joanne Kelly and Eddie McClintock star.

  7. Lost Girl (SyFy). The program has moved from Monday to Friday, but still a good action show with an interesting overall plotline. Anna Silk and Ksenia Solo star.

  8. Covert Affairs (USA). Started out with a bang – literally – but has veered from the action-packed spydom stuff into oftentimes boring character development avenues. I need Annie Walker (Piper Perabo) to be kicking butts!

  9. The Closer (TNT). In July, my No. 4 program. But as the series wound down to its final airing, it seemed to me that the writers just ran out of interesting cases to give Brenda Leigh Johnson (Kyra Sedgwick) a proper sendoff. As I recently posted on Facebook, "The Closer" didn’t give me any closure. (Note to sticklers for details: Yes, I spelled Leigh as Lee in a previous column. I stand corrected.)

10. Alphas (SyFy). Cracked the Top Ten for August with action-packed storylines.

For those of us who were endeared to the supporting cast in "The Closer," "Major Crimes" promised a continuing relationship – but with changes. G.W. Bailey (Lt. Provenza), Tony Denison (Lt. Flynn), Michael Paul Chen (Lt. Tao), Raymond Cruz (Det. Sanchez), Phillip P. Keene (Buzz) and Robert Gossett (Assistant Chief Taylor) are back. So is Mary McDonnell (Capt. Raydor), who has assumed the role of department leader. Kearran Giovanni as Det. Sykes is a welcomed addition to the office, but "Major Crimes" writers need to lose the whining Rusty Beck (Graham Patrick Martin) character if "Major Crimes" is going to succeed as "The Closer’s" successor. Thank goodness for DVR and the fast forward button so that i can zip through the inane storyline involving Capt. Raydor trying to mother a lost soul. Get her a cat! That’s what Brenda Leigh had!

The fourth season of "Sons of Anarchy" premieres 09.11.12 on FX. (Hey, it’s one of my guilty pleasures while sitting on the couch eating a 30-cent bag of popcorn!) And, as previously mentioned last month, "Haven" (SyFy) premieres 09.21.12.

One final observation. Beverley commented on my July Top Ten blog, "Elbert, what about ‘Person of Interest’? And then there is the marvelous PBS special ‘Endeavour’ paying homage to my beloved Morse. Did you see that one?"

Beverley, since "Person of Interest" (CBS) is in summer reruns, the show doesn’t qualify for my Top Ten list (but will likely be near the No. 1 spot after it premieres on 09.27.12). As for "Endeavour" (PBS), I confess that I knew nothing about Det. Endeavour Morse (Shaun Evans), but after reading about the program, I think I will try to catch repeats.

ERM-TV has signed off.

Dead? Who Me? Or Treble?

*Name To Be Added later

I woke up dead this morning.

I didn’t realize it immediately, but sherlocked it after ignoring the question: How can you wake up if you're dead? Just an oxymoron I decided as I concentrated on the ensuing scenes that unfolded in a surreal setting.

I found myself (note: unsure if I was corporeal or spiritual at that precise moment) in a room of sorts – three walls with an open end where a fourth wall should’ve been. There was no ceiling – blue skies dotted with thin clouds. If I was standing on a tiled or wooden floor, I couldn’t tell for the fluffy clouds that covered my feet.

I wasn’t alone. Although I couldn’t see anyone, I heard voices – mainly weeping and wailing ones, and some angry tirades sprinkled in. The weepers just couldn't believe they were HERE! The whiners had expected more convenient conveniences. The mad ones were demanding to see a supervisor or their own attorney.

"Welcome to Waystation No. 9."

The voice was melodic as I strained to add a face to the voice.

"I’m Sister Clodagh, your intermediary during your stay."

Having been a movie buff most of my time spent on planet Earth, I recognized the name from the 1947 flick, "Black Narcissus." The voice, I decided, belonged to Deborah Kerr, who had passed away in October 2007 – almost five years ago.

"What-What am I doing here?" I inquired.

"Well, first of all, you’re dead," the sister replied bluntly.

"And second of all?"

"There seems to be some lingering issues from your material world stay that, once clearly resolved, will determine if you spend eternity in Heaven or Hell."

"Unresolved issues?"

"I see from your dossier … and, may I add it’s a fat one … that you have a split personality – an Elbert and a Treble. Perhaps the unresolved issues pertain to you having lived two lives while in the material world."

"Hey, I just write a blog entitled elbertreble! And, I cannot help it if Elbert spelled backwards is Treble. Anyhow, that shouldn’t mean my personality is split!"

"Now, now. Please don’t raise your voice …"

"Sorry."

"Sorry."

"Is there an echo up here … in Waystation No. 9? I thought I heard myself repeat myself. You know, two sorrys instead of just one," I asked without repeating myself.

"I don’t think it was an echo. There are two of you here."

For the first time, instead of peering at my alter ego in the mirror, I was face to face with myself. Suddenly, we were corporeal and not spiritual. "Is that you Treble?"

"It’s me, Elbert. Just let me say … I can’t believe you’re dead!"

"Me! Dead!" I screamed. "Let me clue you in … If I’m dead, so are you!"

"Now, now," Sister Clodagh said. "Let’s be civil."

I heard papers being shuffled. Finally Sister Clodagh, who had taken on the image I had imagined from "Black Narcissus," said, "Let’s see. One unresolved issue is that one of you still harbors vivid images of a naked Mickey Rourke and Carrie Otis in the movie, 'Wild Orchid'."

"Elbert!" Treble spat. Uncontrollably, I conjured up an image of Carrie Otis.

"And one of you has failed to atone for the rash behavior that led losing a job."

"Treble!" I said without hesitation, recalling that the S.O.B. had always been the angry one. Always the one who acted without thinking about the consequences.

"And one of you has yet to absolve the other for lying to a sweet young lady named Juanita. Something about an unpaid loan."

"Elbert!" Treble said.

"No, I think that was you, Treble," I countered.

"There are at least ten more pages of aforementioned issues …"

"It was all Treble!" I offered in hopes of Treble coming clean and we could move on. But, he remained mum, which was unlike the S.O.B.

"I will forward your dossier to the High Council for a decision …"

"Will I, we need a lawyer?" I inquired.

"Don’t be silly. There are no lawyers in Heaven. They’re all in Hell with the politicians and telemarketers."

"What kind of a decision?" Treble asked.

"Well, in my learned opinion, one of you will go to Hell, the other one to Heaven," Sister Clodagh said. "In the meantime, Elbert you will serve as an intermediary here on Waystation No. 9. We could use some help. It’s been a constant flow of souls who have issues to be settled."

"What about me?" Treble asked haughtily.

"You’ll be held in limbo, so to speak, until the High Council’s rules."

Treble looked at me and said, "Kinda ironic, huh. You possess a split personality, so we get split up to spend an eternity in Heaven or Hell!

"Yeah. Ironic," I said, picturing Treble boarding the ferry for his ill-fated ride with boatman Charon across the Styx to Hades while I was being cordially greeted by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.

ERM-TV's top shows for July

Those who know me -- really know me -- know that I love well-written, well-acted and thought-provoking procedural dramas ("Law and Order: Criminal Intent" remains my all-time favorite in the genre). That said, I broke a post-network season resolution never to watch another new show (yes, I'm still whining about NBC's cancellation of "Prime Suspect" and CBS' dumbass move to drop "Unforgettable") and tuned in to "Perception" (Mondays at 10 p.m. on TNT).

I was immediately hooked! Finally, a character I can identify with -- not necessarily on an intellectual level (we do love difficult crossword puzzles, though) but definitely on a mental plane. Let me explain.

Eric McCormick stars as a paranoid schizophrenic neuroscientist and professor who ... how can I say this without indicting myself as a schizoid ... has imaginary encounters with characters, including a psychiatrist. Okay, hallucinatory figures! McCormick's character, Dr. Daniel Pierce, is peculiar, brilliant and oftentimes is downright weird.

In defense of my personal comparison with Dr. Pierce, I did fiddle around in the mind of that psycho, Emerson Chadwick, in "Plotz," the novel co-authored by Sandy Bruney and myself; and I just finished "playing" the role of a serial killer in "Nomad," the soon-to-be-published sequel to "Plotz." And, my alter ego, Treble, wants to be mentioned on the 'Dedication Page" in "Nomad"!

I should mention that Rachael Leigh Cook plays FBI Agent Kate Moretti and Kelly Rowan portrays Natalie Vincent, the invisible psychiatrist. Levar Burton has popped up in two early episodes as a university dean and Daniel's friend.

In choosing ERM-TV's top shows for the month of July, "Perception" easily supplanted "Rizzoli & Isles" in the No. 1 slot. I'm still teary-eyed over the series finale of "Eureka" and was pleased to welcome the first four of the final six episodes of "The Closer." "The Glades," No. 2 in June, nose-dived to No. 5 in July (writers shouldn't have made Jim and Callie's relationship a long-distance one); and just so I could keep both "Burn Notice" and "Royal Pain" in the "Top Ten," there is a tie at No. 10.

"Covert Affairs" and "Warehouse 13" started up -- replacing "Franklin & Bash" and "Drop Dead Diva" on my list; however, "Alphas" (SyFy) didn't score a "Top Ten" mention. In past seasons, I have enjoyed "White Collar," (USA) but that interest has waned (I'll catch up on the summer season by visiting "Entertainment on Demand" when the mood strikes).

Without further ado, here's my "Top Ten" July programs:

  1. Perception (TNT)
  2. Eureka (SyFy)*
  3. Rizzolli & Isles (TNT)
  4. The Closer (TNT)
  5. The Glades (A&E)
  6. Covert Affairs (USA)
  7. Warehouse 13 (SyFy)
  8. Necessary Roughness (USA)
  9. Lost Girl (SyFy)
10. Burn Notice (USA)
10. Royal Pains (USA)

Coming 08.13.12: "Major Crimes," a spin off of "The Closer," with familiar characters, but sans Brenda Lee Johnson (Kyra Sedgwick), the series closer. And, on 09.21.12, "Haven" will premiere on SyFy.

ERM-TV has signed off.
*The series has ended (sob, sob) for "Eureka."

'Eureka' ends run with a twist

Tearfully, I said goodbye to Jack and Allison, Henry and Grace, Zane and Jo, Doug and Holly, and the residents of Eureka the other night (07.16.12).  With my box of crying tissues (is it okay for a 69-year-old man to weep? Or is that just in baseball?) at hand, the show's scriptwriters had me with the opening scene. By the time the addictive theme music introduced the starring cast (about three-four minutes in), I was a total mess.

Ever since "Eureka" premiered on SyFy (or was it Sci-Fi?) on 07.18.08 (yep, four years ago today), I have been a huge fan. The storylines were oftentimes elaborate, intricate, inane -- even outlandish -- but always light-hearted.

As a writer myself (okay, perhaps I'm stretching it), I wondered how "Eureka" would end its television run. Since the show dealt with the constant manipulation of the space and time continuum at Global dynamics, I thought it would be a neat touch for the cast to end up in a parallel universe -- perhaps, using the wormhole that actually was a part of the finale's plot -- and life in Eureka would be preserved throughout eternity. I was close. Well, sort of.

After tieing up loose ends (and a stack of used crying tissues on my part), the writers ended the five-season run with a twist that was so eurekean. Needless to say, this Reke was a bittersweet camper, who actually waited for the previews of the next episode.

(Note to self: You have just coined the words eurekean and Reke, the latter a male fan of "Eureka" -- the TV show; and, perhaps, Reka, a female fan, too.)

Without becoming real mauldin, I just want to thank the writers, producers, directors, cast and guest stars for five entertaining seasons. On behalf of all "Eureka" fans worldwide, I want to say that "Eureka" emerged as the best, and true, science-fiction program ever! (Where's my crying tissue?)

Allison, Zane, Henry, Jo, Fargo and Sheriff Carter

And, for posterity, I want to enter the actors and their roles into the Cyberspace blog annals: Colin Ferguson as Sheriff Jack Carter; Salli Richardson-Whitfield as Allison Blake; Joe Morton as Henry Deacon; Tembi Locke as Grace Monroe; Niall Matter as Zane Donovan; Erica Cerra as Jo Lupo; Neil Grayston as Douglas Fargo; Felicia Day as Holly Marten; Kavan Smith as Deputy Andy 2.0; and Chris Gauthier as Vincent, the Cafe Diem proprietor extraordinaire. Plus, Matt Frewer as Jim Tagget; Wil Wheaton as Isaac Parrish; and Jordan Hinson as Zoe Carter.

I was especially pleased that the Zoe character, Sheriff Carter's daughter, returned for the finale episode -- and was a part of the end's "twist."

With "In Plain Sight" (USA) and "Eureka" (SyFy) in the history book, I now have about four weeks to prepare to say goodbye to one of the most endearing characters on TV -- Brenda Lee Johnson (Kyra Sedgwick) on "The Closer" (TNT). The timeframe ought to give me ample time to replenish my crying tissues.

ERM-TV's 'Top Ten' June shows

It's understood that I'm a TV addict -- although barbarian networks, such as CBS and NBC, are whittling away with a poleaxe at my favorite shows. To wit: "Unforgettable" being replaced by "Vegas" come fall on CBS and "Prime Suspect" outted by "The Firm" (and whatever happened to that show?) on NBC. I read on "Google News" that CBS is considering breathing new life into "Unforgettable" as a possible 2013 replacement show. I'm holding my breath. NOT!

Thank goodness for Summer TV via cable networks A&E, Lifetime, Sy-Fy, TNT and USA. June is about over, but I do have a "Top Ten" list for blog readers.

Picking my No. 1 June program wound up being between "Rizzoli & Isles" and "The Glades" -- with "R&I" winning by a nose. Sound familiar? The same toss-up happened in choosing my "Top Ten Sci-Fi Movies" between "Avatar" and "Inception" -- with "Avatar" winning.

TNT's classy police procedural "Rizzoli & Isles" gets the nod for the top rung. I enjoyed Angie Harmon as an ADA on "Law and Order" and Sasha Alexander as a federal agent on "NCIS." Put the two together in "R&I" and you have a definite hit. The supporting cast includes Lorraine Bracco (Rizzoli's mother), Jordan Bridges (Rizzoli's brother), Lee Thompson Young (Det. Barry Frost), Bruce McGill (Det. Vince Korsak) and even a guest shot by Jacqueline Bisset as Maura's mother (Maura's adopted).

A&E's "The Glades" stars Matt Passmore as Det. Jim Longworth and Kiele Sanchez as Callie Cargill. It's taken two seasons, but Jim and Callie are more than just friends. I loved Sanchez in "30 Days of Night: Dark Days" in which she played a vampire hunter/slayer. I still get chill bumps recalling a few particular scenes, but I digress.

Another favorite, "Eureka," is down to the last few episodes of its final season. The quirky show, on Sy-Fy, stars Colin Ferguson (Sheriff Carter), Erica Cerra (Deputy Lupo), Salli Richardson-Whitfield Allison), Neil Grayston (Fargo), Joe Morton (Henry), Felicia Day (Holly) and Niall Matter (Zane). "Eureka" will be the second show to end this Summer TV season, following "In Plain Sight") on USA.

Here's my "Top Ten" June shows:

  1. Rizzoli & Isles (TNT)
  2. The Glades (A&E)
  3. Eureka (Sy-Fy)
  4. Necessary Roughness (USA)
  5. Lost Girl (Sy-Fy)
  6. Fairly Legal (USA)*
  7. Franklin & Bash (TNT)
  8. Burn Notice (USA)
  9. Royal Pains (USA)
10. Drop Dead Diva (Lifetime)

There's still more to come  in  July -- including the last six episodes of "The Closer" on TNT (July 9 @ 9 p.m.); "White Collar" on USA (July 10 @ 9); "Covert Affairs" on USA (July 10 @ 10); "Warehouse 13" on Sy-Fy (July 23 @ 9); and "Alphas" on Sy-Fy (July 23 @ 10).

If you are a "Suits" or "Common Law" fan, your shows are missing because I just didn't want to become part of those USA shows only to be disappointed. Nor is "Justified" from FX listed.

ERM-TV has signed off.
    *The summer season has ended for "Fairly Legal."

My days as a serial killer have ended

In writing "Nomad" (the sequel to "Plotz" that was published in 2011) over the past 10 months, I have been an intrepid investigative reporter, a fiery female behavioral analyst, a police detective(s) and a serial killer.

I finished the last chapter on 06.18.12. To be honest, it has been quite exhausting -- both physically and mentally. So I am taking a short (two weeks at least) vacation before I begin the editing and rewriting process. I have decided to add an epilogue, but will wait until after the aforementioned process that all writers face after typing "THE END" at the bottom of the page.

The "Nomad" cover was created by my nephew-in-law, a very talented Roderick Mullins, who resides in Wise, Va. He took my original idea, added his own artistic touch and -- well, you can see the end result at right.

I suppose all writers do their role-playing bit -- placing themselves in the shoes of a particular character. As Evan (my protagonist), who is the crime reporter for the fictional Glamorgan Gazette, I felt I was in familiar environs. As a newspaperman for 29 years, I drew on my experience as a reporter and an editor to "help" Evan piece together the mystery behind Nomad, the serial killer.

Becoming Annie (my heroine) was no easy assignment. She is a comprehensive composite of several women I have known, met professionally or seen on TV (think "Criminal Minds").

As for doing the detective work, I relied on my experience as a police reporter (a long, long time ago) and, again, TV (think "Law and Order" or "Law and Order: Criminal Intent").

Becoming Nomad was the most difficult task that I faced. In reality, I am not a serial killer; however, to write about one, I spent months pretending to be one. I did scads of research (Google and I became the best of friends) and read about Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy, Jack the Ripper and, of course, Hannibal Lecter (I even watched the four-star "Silence of the Lambs").

Psychologically-speaking, I had to place myself inside a serial killer's head; and, in doing so, when I penned Nomad's murderous deeds, I made certain that my readers were inside Nomad's head, too.

In "Plotz" (co-written with Sandra Z. Bruney using the pen name Marshall Bruney), readers did a lot of traveling across the state of North Carolina and visited several well-known sites and ate some fine, fine North Carolina food. In "Nomad," the reader will visit Hattiesburg, Mississippi, and Odessa, Texas, as Evan unravels similar Nomad cases.

So dear friends, if you meet me on the street, don't panic. I'm not sizing you up as my next victim. I just haven't been able to get rid of "the look" yet. (:-)

My Top Ten List of Sci-Fi Movies

After viewing "Prometheus" on 06.08.2012, I wondered where Ridley Scott's venture back into science-fiction (after a 33-year absence from the genre) would place on my Top Ten List; so, I went file searching and located an ancient list with Stanley Kubrick's "2001: A Space Odyssey" as No. 1.

No "Avatar". No "Inception". No "The Matrix".

My new No. 1 was a battle between "Avatar" and "Inception." "Avatar" won by a nose -- so to speak.

So, without further ado, here's my updated Top Ten List of Sci-Fi Movies:

  1. Avatar (directed by James Cameron)
  2. Inception (directed by Christopher Nolan)
  3. 2001: A Space Odyssey (directed by Stanley Kubrick)
  4. Alien (directed by Ridley Scott)
  5. Blade runner (directed by Ridley Scott)
  6. Prometheus (directed by Ridley Scott)
  7. Aliens (directed by James Cameron)
  8. The Matrix (directed by the Wachowski brothers, Andy and Lana)
  9. Dune (directed by David Lynch)
10. Terminator (directed by James Cameron)

I note with interest that Cameron and Scott have three movies each in my Top Ten; and that "2001: A Space Odyssey," which was released in 1968, held that No. 1 post for 44 years. Wow!

Also, none of the "Star Wars" movies remain in my new list. The 1977 release of "Star Wars" (retitled to "Star Wars: A New Hope" by director George Lucas after Episodes 1, 2 and 3 were released) was easily No. 2 on the "Old List" but fell into the "Second Ten" when I placed "Prometheus" at No. 6.